A Withering Heart
by juntomatsu
Summary: She willingly gave up what she desired the most but now she wants it back? Wrn this is a sasuhina hinasasu fic...with mild narusaku and onesided hinanaru..


_juntomatsu: yeah that's right it's me once again...-grins- ...i've think that i've got my mojo back...well for the time being...-whispers- not like i really had it...but you know...so yeah...-yawns- it's just too early or late however you wish to look at it in the morning..it's like four forty-ish that's am kiddies...and this stupid old woman wearing plot-bunny just would not stop...until i did this...so yeah here it is so that i can go to sleep...like that huh...juntomatus throwing out another doodle to torture you just for some night-night time...heh heh...do you feel the love...-yawns again-..._

_disclaimer: it's never be mine before...so why start now and ruin a good thing.._

_warnings: ok kiddi__es this will have some serious ooc-ness sorry and because it's a hinasasu fic...that should pretty much answer any other questions __or comments that might be lurking in your mind...ready to spill from your lips...-grins-...and this is a multi-chaptered thing...i guess...might continue might not...just depends on how i feel...and because it is me doodling it...plz note the bad grammar and spelling..ah ha...well that's all...read on..._

-stupidplotbunniessupidplotbunnies-

A Withering Heart…

Horrible- that was the only word she could think of when she stared into the pale lavender eyes that stared back at her.

It was becoming heart-wrenching for her to watch her blonde-haired friend hang all over his girlfriend. She closed her eyes willing the haunting image from her memory, to no avail.

She quietly sighed and glowered back into the face of the lavender-eyed girl, standing in front of her.

Nearly a year has passed since Naruto and Sakura became a couple, all but six months that she's lived in denial about her remaining feelings towards him, and almost two weeks since she's finally recognized the excruciating ache in her chest every time _they_ were within her line of sight-_ together_.

"What kind of friend am I?" Hinata asked her reflection as she clenched her fists by her sides.

A terrible friend, she wordlessly answered herself as she continued to gaze at her reflection in the mirror.

No… she was atrocious; yearning for more with her relationship with Naruto; something that she could never have, something that she willingly gave up.

She sighed and shifted her sight to the window vaguely noting the sunlight slowly creeping in; today was going to be another long, awful day.

Truthfully, she didn't know if her heart could take anymore of this abuse, but she didn't want to cut her ties with him, she wanted to stand by his side; even if it meant just being a friend and nothing more, for this she would push this pain aside and not think about it, surely over time a numbness would take it's place to the point that she wouldn't be able to tell that it had ever been there.

She found herself staring back at the scowling pale faced girl in the mirror.

Hinata's scowl deepened as one thought now plagued her- how much time did her heart need to become 'numb' to this feeling… to 'forget'?

How much longer before she could be just be Hinata again, _not_ this girl who was anticipating the end of _their_ relationship?

As she turned away from the incriminating eyes staring at her, she mentally shook herself and took a deep breathe, starting off the day like this couldn't be healthy, she needed to clear her mind, focus on something else other than her 'problem'; training and practicing her techniques seem to be the only thing that helped recently.

She slowly walked to her closet to pull out her lavender jumpsuit and walked to the bathroom, time to start what she knew would be another dreadful day. A day of pretending that everything was fine, that she didn't harbor loathing thoughts towards the pink-haired kunoichi and her relationship with the number one loudest shinobi.

-stupidplotbunniesstupidplotbunnies-(a/n time skip...tra-la-la-la)

Hinata stood in front of the dilapidated training post catching her breathe as she slowly stood upright.

Closing her eyes she focused on her breathing and listened to her heartbeat, letting all her lingering anger and confusion exit with each beat, compelling her heart, spirit and soul to find internal peace.

She couldn't remain like this; it wasn't anyone's fault but her own for never voicing her feelings to Naruto. And it wasn't Sakura's fault that Naruto's childhood crush on her grew into something more- that she finally returned as well. It wasn't _their_ fault that Hinata's heart had betrayed her, refusing to let _her_ childhood crush go.

She couldn't remain mad, besides it wasn't really in her nature to hold grudges but still that didn't mean that she had to like it.

With one last deep breathe she slowly opened her eyes; this was getting her no where, maybe the Hokage had a mission or something that might provide a distraction.

Hinata turned towards the manor; she needed a quick shower and a change of clothes first before she would see the Hokage.

Then she stopped as a thought abruptly thundered through her train of thought- but what if there were no missions for a Chunin, she shook her head, it didn't matter she would take anything and work with anyone at this moment, she just needed to get away before something happened, something that she would regret later.

-stupidplotbunniesstupidplotbunnies-

_juntomatus: me once again...uh...again...that's all...hope you liked it...well i'm off to bed...toodles...and as always...leave a review it you wish it...don't if you don't...flames are always welcomed...and now my bed calls...night kiddies...-walks away with pillow in hand-_


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